That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
