Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
