that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
