I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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