Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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