I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
