hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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