Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
