I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She even gives head with a lisp.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
