Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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