i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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