I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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