Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
