I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
