69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
