I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
