Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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