4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
