I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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