We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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