I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I take back everything I said about communal showers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
