I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
