I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
