So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
