Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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