haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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