Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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