OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
