just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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