he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
