I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
