If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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