Whod you bang
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
