the condom got lost in my hair
I looked at my own cervix.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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