I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
