I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
