it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
