Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
