it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
