hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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