and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
