I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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