Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
