and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it's like iHOP with fire
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
