You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
