I just pynch a tree in the face
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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