I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
