she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
