Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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