clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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