Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think your dad took our porno
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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