We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
