So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
