hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
