well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
