I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Enjoy the penises
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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