There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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