Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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