i barfeds in our rink
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
