We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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