im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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