You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
