i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
