I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
