Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
