I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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