i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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