Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
